This blog is about how retarded our country has become.

First some background on why I think some police forces can be laughable.

*Wavy lines/fading to memory/voice over by James Earl Jones*

Many years ago I was arrested on suspicion of Burglary and stealing a car.

Here is the story …

My cousins and I were walking down by a canal near where we lived.
We took some food because there were horses down there and I loved horses.
(Not in the inappropriate way).

Next to the field was a car, battered and broken.
Obviously abandoned.
I told my cousins not to touch it.
We fed the horses and left.
About 5 minutes from my home 15 cops bundle out of a house and stop us.
That’s 15 cops for a 14 year old, a 13 year old and an 11 year old.
Then a paddy wagon pulls up and finally a sniffer dog unit.

I’m informed I’m being arrested on suspicion of TDA (taking and driving away) and burglary.
They search me, find two penknives (both less than the 3 ½ legal limit back then) and also add two counts of carrying an offensive/concealed weapon.
(This was back before teenagers were knifing each other. Kids carried penknives!!)
At the station, when my father arrived, they laid it all out to us.

I had apparently stolen a car from Hounslow at 3:20pm, arrived in Hayes, abandoned it, tried to break and enter into a place and then walked back down the canal path and got arrested. All by 3:29pm.
Apparently the stolen vehicle had a fucking flux capacitor fitted and came with a free Timelord.

Anyway, the strength of their accusations was that I matched the description which was between 5’6” and 6’ with brown hair.
(Fuck me, arrest half the country!)
They also said that my footprints were found around the car, to which I said yes, I walked past it.
And they said the same footprints were found around the premises I ‘tried’ to enter.
But they couldn’t read the footprint too well but knew it was mine.
My father asked to see the knives I was carrying and have them measured in front of me.
They couldn’t find them now but, when they measured them, they were 5 ½ inches long and 6 inches long. Not only had they miraculously disappeared, they had apparently grown too!

Anyway, the CPS threw it out as the whole thing was a fucking farce.

Now read THIS and read it well!!

It amazes me that, nearly twenty years on, they still have nothing better to do with their time.
Shouldn’t they be out investigating unsolved murders? Unsolved rapes? How about putting a little more effort into finding and dealing with child molesters? Knife crime? Gun crime? Fuck! What about illegal parking?

No, apparently it’s much more important to the safety of the civilians to arrest a guy over a joke tweet.

QUICK! The guy in my local pub said he doesn’t like the royal family!
TREASON!!!
I’ll prepare the gallows, you trump up the charges.

Seriously, when I read this for the first time I thought it was a joke.
The second time I hoped it was a joke.
Now, I realize it is ONE BIG FUCKING JOKE.
Not the event, but the reaction to it.
This whole episode is as retarded as the scene in Meet the Parents where Ben Stiller is told “You can’t say bomb on a plane.”

Complete and utter fucktardedness at it’s finest.

And these are the people in control.

Scary thought?

As Ice-T said … Freedom of speech. Just watch what you say.
Never a truer word spoken.